Directive From the “Know-it-all” Department in Washington
- This year, only inoffensive nativity pageants will be allowed.
- There shall be no mention of Mary riding a donkey. Unfair to animals.
- No reference to innkeeper allowed so as not to cast aspersions on hospitality industries.
- No swaddling clothes which is a clear sign of child abuse.
- There will be an equal number of boy shepherds and girl shepherds.
- No reference shall be made to seeing a star so as not to offend people living in smog.
- Any and all gifts shall be wrapped in recycled paper and recycled ribbons.
- King Herod shall be accompanied by Queen Herod and speak half the dialogue.
- There shall be at least three Wise Persons of appropriate ethnic and gender mix.
- When the family leaves for Egypt, Joseph shall carry the baby and Mary the luggage.
- Since religious observances should unite rather than divide, there shall be no “Gloria in excelsis Deo” nor any “Merry Christmases.” A simple “Season’s Greetings” is preferable.
Christmas is real …
it’s the rest of the year that’s pretend.
Taken from “Mini Moments for Christmas” by Robert Strand.
