After having lost two babies recently, the Born Alive Act seems even closer to my heart. I was repulsed before, knowing Senator Obama had voted against those babies’ right to life. Now, I am just crushed when I think people would just let them die. If only our baby had made it a couple more weeks, think what we would have done to ensure his right to life! Mr. Obama, you make me sick.
Frogs never drink.
Today was a pretty good day. It started out a little rough – Jonathan woke me up at 3:30 AM and told me “someone” had thrown up all over the bed. Nicholas apparently had gotten sick in the middle of the night and had not even woken up! He’d vomited all over the top bunk, and down onto the floor. So I had a time cleaning up their room. I put Daniel and Nicholas out in the living room, but Jonathan wanted to sleep on the bottom bunk. He was not doing too well, having seen the vomit, he was sick also. After I got all the stuff cleaned up, I went back to bed.
I didn’t wake up very well because I was very tired. (I haven’t been sleeping well) We did make it to church on time, we just missed Sunday School. Jonathan was worried that we wouldn’t go because he & Nicholas had been sick. They were okay this morning, so we went.
On the way to church I realized I was nervous about going. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to hold it together. It is easy to be calm and fairly even-keeled at home, where there are a lot of different things to keep me busy. I don’t like “down time”, as the thoughts and questions and sadness tend to overwhelm me. I know it is okay to grieve, and that it is indeed necessary. I just don’t like it. I haven’t really come to terms with God in all of this. I know that He is faithful, and He has surrounded us with His love & His children to minister to us. However, it hurts a lot to try and sing about His goodness or His greatness. I know that He could have saved the baby and He didn’t. Don’t know why He chose not to, but He didn’t. I thought He was going to save the baby to show all the doctors how great He is – that He is more powerful than man and all that man thinks he knows. So I guess I am still struggling with the fact that the baby is gone and God did not save him.
During worship, Nicholas raised his hand. He has seen me raise my hands in praise, and has asked why I do that. Today, I was unable to raise my hands – much less sing. Nicholas kept his arm around me and one hand raised in praise to God. Jonathan noticed me crying at one point during worship, and he put his arm around me too and told me, “it would be okay”.
Later, I was talking with a friend and she asked if she could pray for me. While she prayed, I cried. Jonathan came by and saw me crying and stopped and hugged me. One of his friends wanted him to come away and Jonathan said, “Can’t you see my mom is crying?!” He stayed with me until we were done praying. Then he told me it was okay and went on his way.
The boys are great. They tell me every day they are glad to have me home. They have become more tender toward me. I don’t know what all God is doing through this experience, but as for the boys, they are definitely growing into kind & gentle young men.
A friend told me today that God said we were raising up “righteous young men”. I hope and pray this is true. I pray nothing I do or don’t do will cause them to stray from God – that their hearts would always be turned toward Him.
Thursday was a nice day. We spent most of it at the Fair. The kids had a lot of fun riding the rides and Jeff and I just hung out and let them do that. Nothing else really interested me. I had wanted to see the draft horse demo, but we missed it. We went looking for the scrap booking display, but didn’t see it. The kids rode a lot of rides! Jonathan got me to go on one with him. It was one I have looked at every year and been too chicken to try. 🙂 We didn’t do it at night, but here is a picture of the ride. 
The other ride I went on was the old merry-go-round. I always like to ride that with the kids. 🙂 Merry-g0-rounds are so fun and nostalgic.
All in all, it was a good day. I won’t tell you about the many babies I saw, or the realization that struck me about halfway through the day (that had our little girl lived, she would have been two months old and with us), or how hard it was to understand why girls so young were there & either pregnant or toting around a newborn. Sometimes it is hard to push away the thoughts.
It was so nice to see the boys having so much fun and enjoying themselves. We were all tired when we got home. We ate pizza and watched a couple “Mork & Mindy” episodes (I, of course, fell asleep in my chair!!).
Fair Day was a good day!!
Can you believe it has been 7 years since the terrorists attacked America?
Seven years ago, we woke up to the news showing over and over again the planes flying into the two towers. It took us a bit to figure out that the planes had hit hours before. We saw the devastation; we saw the towers fall. We saw the wreckage of flight 92 minutes after it went down. We watched in horror as a plane crashed into the Pentagon and a gaping hole appeared.
Then there was the aftermath. People were afraid, but we were filled with righteous indignation, too. We mourned our lost, but we also stood up to fight.
Now, seven years later, we are able to walk and live in safety. No one has attempted to stain America’s soil since 9-11. Maybe that isn’t true – there have been attempts, but they have never made it to fruition. Our soldiers have ensured our freedom with their lives. Our soldiers have also ensured the freedom of the Afghan people and the Iraqi people. Freedom is not cheap. Thankfully America has nurtured men & women who know and understand this and are willing to pay the price. We are unique. America is not like other countries. We are the first to help, the first to defend, and the last to accept defeat.
May God bless America for many more years to come! May we enjoy many more years of peace and realize that our peace and safety are due to Him and His good will toward us. I pray that God would richly bless all the families who have sacrificed and lost members due to war and the keeping of peace.
Tonight Daniel showed me a game he found on Cartoon Network. He said it is the “funnest game ever”. :o) Oh to be 9 again!
check it out for yourself – http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/games/mrmen/mrbumppinball/
well, we’re still here. it’s been almost a week – Tuesday will be a week since we lost the baby. I still haven’t been able to sit down and chronicle all that happened. it will happen … eventually.
We’ve all been sick. I came home Wednesday to a sick Nicholas. He asked me how I knew he was sick & came home to him. little blessings make life easier. it was good to come home and be needed right away. Wednesday night Jonathan got sick, then Thursday Jeff was sick. Jeff’s been sick since then, today he is finally feeling more “normal” than not. I don’t think I ever caught what they all had, unless I had it last Sunday like Daniel. Today I am not feeling 100%, I am looking a bit peaked and anemic.
We’ve been watching the Back to the Future movies. Last night we watched the first one, today we watched #2 and are getting ready to watch #3.
Just had to let you know –
I am home. The baby died Tuesday morning. I am ok. Really sad. Jeff is, too. Please keep him in your prayers. Am working on a longer explanation, but am tired now, so will send it tomorrow.
Love,
Sonja
